He was shot six times by a man on the run...

2010-05-30T19:05:00.001+08:00

Goodbye sungei gedong, goodbye long sleepless nights, goodbye to rubber soled boots...

Hello SAFTI, hello 2 men bunks, hello shiny click-clacks...

At least for 3 weeks that is...

-
It feels like an impending deadline, like as though it'll be overdue soon... But circumstances have made it in such a way that the options are still wide open... 4 years as a cadet all over again sucks I know but JINGCHENG BE STRONG this is all for the future...

-
Anyways it's goodbye to this blog too... I'll catch somewhere else sometime soon. But til then...

2010-05-16T12:42:00.001+08:00

It's so near now, that I've stopped counting down...

2010-05-16T12:36:00.000+08:00

2010-05-16T12:31:00.001+08:00

Of feng shan and Shang feng

2010-05-14T19:51:00.004+08:00

Of Feng Shan and Shang Feng

Taiwan oh Taiwan...it's amazing how a whole month has passed since tact team ended...

Definiely this phase of training has been awesome.. As much as we had dreaded its coming, its passing, we wanted more.. We all had our own motivations to complete the 25 days, some girlfriends they missed, others the anticipation of R&R but nonetheless one thing remained constant, commissioning in June...

-
All the live firings on feng Shan wasn't tiring, it was the preparations and the recovery that killed our morale... The thought of having to put everything into the armoury for the night only to draw them out at 4 the next day was dreadful... The thought of cleaning up all the weapons every night only to fire them the next day was like "geh zhua"... Luckily the vehicles didn't need to move much.. Nevertheless, since we didn't give the vehicles much rest time, the faults began to pile up day after, greasing was like a daily routine... I'd not even want to wash my face Even in the showers after looking at my blackened palms.. and on other days I'd be so tired I'd not even want to bring myself to the showers , just TOH on the bed...

-
honestly the first week here was terrible cos everyone was new to the environment and it just took some getting use to... And people started falling sick.. The vcomds and drivers were the first to get hit by the killer weather.. Low loading on the parade sq with the rain and wind chills, it dropped below 8 that day and sadly the parka jacket failed and we were wet anyway..

-
"a rush of shit to the head"

True enough listening in on the manpack as detailing, some VPs were crap beyond crap... That sudden feeling when u hit the PTT and it becomes "push to THINK" and not "Push to TALK"...

-
What ever the case it's the end of Taiwan as we know it, and I'm just glad we're going home...

Of feng shan and Shang feng

2010-05-14T19:51:00.001+08:00

Taiwan oh Taiwan...it's amazing how a whole month has passed since tact team ended...

Definiely this phase of training has been awesome.. As much as we had dreaded its coming, its passing, we wanted more.. We all had our own motivations to complete the 25 days, some girlfriends they missed, others the anticipation of R&R but nonetheless one thing remained constant, commissioning in June...

-
All the live firings on feng Shan wasn't tiring, it was the preparations and the recovery that killed our morale... The thought of having to put everything into the armoury for the night only to draw them out at 4 the next day was dreadful... The thought of cleaning up all the weapons every night only to fire them the next day was like "geh zhua"... Luckily the vehicles didn't need to move much.. Nevertheless, since we didn't give the vehicles much rest time, the faults began to pile up day after, greasing was like a daily routine... I'd not even want to wash my face Even in the showers after looking at my blackened palms.. and on other days I'd be so tired I'd not even want to bring myself to the showers , just TOH on the bed...

-
honestly the first week here was terrible cos everyone was new to the environment and it just took some getting use to... And people started falling sick.. The vcomds and drivers were the first to get hit by the killer weather.. Low loading on the parade sq with the rain and wind chills, it dropped below 8 that day and sadly the parka jacket failed and we were wet anyway..

-
"a rush of shit to the head"

True enough listening in on the manpack as detailing, some VPs were crap beyond crap... That sudden feeling when u hit the PTT and it becomes "push to THINK" and not "Push to TALK"...

-
What ever the case it's the end of Taiwan as we know it, and I'm just glad we're going home...

2010-04-20T20:22:00.002+08:00

oh it was awesome...

there was KICK ASS... and i went home, at grabbed the kite and went out...

dirtied my feet, bruised my elbows and grazed my knees...
all worth it.

-
i'm so gonna do this again when i get back...

2010-04-20T14:09:00.003+08:00

ok deep breaths... its gonna be another month...

alot of emotions can stem from a single thing... some may be excited others may not... others may leave thing behind, yet some some people are more than willing to escape...

i suppose i put too much pressure on myself.. its just 1 summary exercise yet it means the whole world will rest on the 4 days and 3 nights... i got frustrated a week back over some shit, and i ended up deciding to let nature take its course.. its not as if i'm notgoing to put any more effort into it... its just that trying too hard sometimes takes away alot... like a vampire to a vein, sucking every ounce of juice left...

and so i suppose this will be last month of training... it will be a relief once i am able to wash the 16 vehicles and get back to bunk... ready for R&R... its like telling myself that the whole 18 months spent as a trainee is coming to an end... (I am of course deliberately leaving out the fact that we still have ex panther to go...) well, the world doesnt end there... but it'll sure feel like it does...

and tonight i suppose it'll be interesting to observe the hordes of people at the airport sending the white shirts off... the less i see the less i'm reminded, and the less emotional burden i'll have... you see, the more you make peace with the world u leave behind, the less excited you will be to come back to it... i know i want to be excited when i come back... not to the fact that 63560 need to change 3 road wheels or that 63558 is still spewing engine oil out of the outlet... but to the FACT that 7 months to ORD.

-
ok lets try this now... OMG I'M SO EXCITED! i can't believe that in 12 hours time i'll be in taiwan ready to go! i'll have SO MANY VEHICLES TO TAKE CARE OF its gonna be a BLAST up there!

ok definitely not working...

i'll try it again before i leave then.
til then goodbye sunny island.

2010-04-20T14:04:00.002+08:00

"well it could have been... in a world where good things happen..."

2010-04-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

SLOW IS SMOOTH,
SMOOTH IS fast.

2010-04-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

"And shepherds we shall be,

for Thee, my Lord, for Thee.

Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,

that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.

So we shall flow a river forth to Thee

and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In nomine Patris, et Filii, Spiritus Sancti."

2010-04-03T11:42:00.005+08:00

I've always wanted to do something like this...

-
its like one of those days when something AWESOME hits you in the head and you finally do something that you're satisfied...

then you think to yourself... Legend-waitforit-DARY...

2010-04-03T07:11:00.002+08:00

note to self:

what armour really needs, is trauma management for every single soldier...

its terrifying how u'd see the guy right beside u becomes minced meat as an AP shell rams trough the side and his blood covers the interior walls of the trooper's compartment...

its worse as a gunner, watching the lifeless torso of your vehicle commander sink back into the cover of the turret as his head is blown off while looking over the ammo box of the CMG....

its the worst, having to pull your incapacited driver out of the driver's compartment, and dragging his bloodied body into the trooper's compartment and subsequently asking your section commander to crawl through the very same bloodied trail into the driver's compartment and take over driving surrounded by walls that could possibly be painted with the former's brains or guts...

-
this is what i dream about outfield when i possibly get a chance to sleep...

2010-04-03T06:56:00.004+08:00

WHY THE HECK AM I NOT SLEEPING?!

i'm getting restless, this time its for real, my body clock is screwed. i would never have imagined myself sleeping for barely 10 hours after coming back from field camp... that small number had always been too hard to imagine... waking up at 10 yesterday felt extremely strange... and worst of all, i never made it back to bed, just movies, back-to-back...

and now? its barely 7 am, and why the heck am i not sleeping?!

-
tact team field camp wasnt the best of field camps, i rate it the worst ever since i enlisted... it all started with prep for ops, since this time our ammo party didnt need to move out til 9... while helping section2 mount their 40 AGL, someone's had slipped and the 40 suddenly sank with my right hand supporting the bottom, BAM, (i'd say its like closing the car door on ur finger)..

and then i dropped my notepad while assaulting murai open patch... but what i was more concerned about, was that i had my phone inside an FAD pouch together with the notepad... fuck from the moment i realised i dropped it, the image of it being crushed by a 23 ton monster kept running through my head... thank goodness ryan and thomas found it.

while dismounting for a debrief at pauline trg shed, i wasnt looking straight ahead and without my helmet on, cheng hoe swings his M203 around himself for a back sling... BAM, butt to the head... disorientated for the rest of the night and i find myself dead in the turret for over 2 hours, no one had a clue where i was...

got barely 3 hours of sleep the night before the advance mission, bloody hell i should have just gone back to the BX and slept inside, but Nooooooooooo, i stayed dozing off here and there, while the rest back briefed wing comd about the mission plan... and eventually, i just had to end up as ex PS... next time, i'm gonna give my platoon sergeant so much love in unit until he thinks his life doesnt suck... cos a PS's life really just sucks.

FML.

-

2010-03-13T13:27:00.002+08:00

june 19th seems a long way out from now... but actually, if i really looked at it, its one month in taiwan, one month in safti and that leaves me one last month in sungei gedong...

section field camp was shag max, ok maybe not exactly max.. but yeah pretty darn tiring... it doesnt stop there cos there's still 5 days of plt field camp and another 5 for tact team... which really made me thinking why the hell are we doing section level rubbish again? we should have done all that in safti already... as uncle richard always says.. ARMOUR NO TIME...

sometimes when the warrants are in a good mood, we see a side of them that reminds us that they are human too, that they are capable of a good laugh, a good joke and a good smile... no one can deny their experience, our in-camp-daddies...
(in actual fact there's no such thing as daddies, cos daddy's meant to be singular...)

-
ok so for a 6 year bond i'm already guaranteed a local sponsorship so far... wasnt really that hard... but yeah maj hoo's sit down chat really blew me away... i don't know if i'm taking this too fast or rushing too many things too soon, but the offer to go to australia's duntroon, or to japan's NDA is too overwhelming... now its like this humongous fishball thats stuck in my throat... i find it going in a big circle how i'm walking the footsteps of my brother... yet the sad fact that its going to be hard to get my SMS is adding even more pressure...

its hard to talk to people in camp.. other than the usual helping them out understanding all the drills and concepts, sometimes, its like what shibin always says, i really seem to be on the other side of the earth when it comes to our situations... on totally different wavelengths, 1 and 1 doesn't always make 2... and its just amazing how i've made it thru so far..

-
edmund's away in India, josiah's leaving for taiwan, i'm as good as gone for the next 3 weeks... there wont be another time like last night, going down to NUS to meet felix janelle and josiah... or another mahjong session at yh's or edmund's... but it was great talking to them in janelle's room, about stuff that we'd never talk about iin school... NO SECRETS NIGHT... oh boy oh boy, really gets people thinking...

-
so now, i'll sit on australia, japan, or us...

think.

2010-03-13T12:05:00.003+08:00

the candle flickers,
a fading sunset,
the gentle touch of steel to skin.
seizing every muscle to a sharp twist.

the candle hasn't burnt out yet
the sun hasn't set just yet.
i am not dead yet.

we were meant to do many things together
we were meant to be together
we were meant to take flight to the sky
we were meant to see the world together
we were meant to take a thousand photographs
we were meant to hold each other
we were meant to watch "the wedding singer"

fuck you, life doesn't work that way.
"Push" said the wind
and all thats left is the wisp of smoke.
a gentle reminder that I'm the sucker.

2010-02-21T05:17:00.002+08:00

Indents.

this word gives a whole new meaning to give or take. and the ESSSS SAYYYYY EFFFF loves this word alot... it gives relieves some of the problems the logistics people used to have but still remains a nightmare... it is a predetermined allocation of certain items to a certain group of people...

"i'm sorry guys, lunch is indented for you..."
what the hell...

2010-02-07T20:40:00.000+08:00

i'll counting down the days.

there's 2 more friday bookouts.

2010-02-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

crisis crisis.

its alot to stomach, the whole syllabus, somehow i doubt its effectiveness.. mounted, we are like the leopards, the sm1... dismounted, we are the infantry... the calvary of the army... its like cramming together the opposite ends of the world into a tiny tin can...

each morning as section 1 wakes up everybody sees me stoning... routinely, its at the point when i am just about to put on my socks and wear my shoes... nobody can prevent me from stoning, it just happens, but they always snap me out of it...

-

i managed to witness a moon-rise
as if it were climbing the trees of bahtera.
slowing inching its way through the canopy,
and then gleaming down upon us.

if only i could take it all off,
this suit of green,
sit there in the canvas hammock
look up and look to my side
point it out "There! thats waning."
maybe argue with you, "No! its not waxing"

if only we could live on the moon,
in a little big crater.
and have the sides cover up everything
shut us away from distraction.
we'd look up and see
that little guy pointing back at us
from that green and blue and turquoise.

2010-01-17T10:09:00.001+08:00

never seen you at your wits end
but i forced you there an then you'd find your way back to me
promises were made to you
i never meant to lie
i just never made them true;
this heart loves you
this heart breaks for you
my heart hates what it has to put yours through
by beating only when it has to
its just not enough i know
but i loved you more than i could show

kenton holmes - wit's end

2010-01-17T09:13:00.002+08:00

there're 2 ways of doing this,

finding out how many seconds are there in a year.

i could sit here at this table, and look for a calculator in a whole pile of things called my WORKSPACE and start a manual calculation of 60 x 60 x 24 x 365. but then again, i would have to calculate the other possible years, leap years, Julian years, standard SI years as well.

OR i could simply google it and find out from someone else who's already calculated it.

which reminds me, i still havent watched the leap year yet, the movie i wanted to watch in J1.

2010-01-17T08:14:00.002+08:00

Good morning gentlemen, on behalf of Commander Lancer, I welcome you to Brunei Darussalam.

ok, honestly, the 10 days there wasnt that long, going to Tamworth was wayyy longer. but then again, the first few days were horrible, with the lousy feeling of unfamiliarity, and the constant rush to do things, coupled by the fact that the sun rises earlier, so the camp staff expects reveille to be earlier, like at 0445...

it just needed some getting use to.

If i were a physicist, i would conclude that the time spent at Cynthia, Batu Apoi and Buaya, anyone would agree that the most work done in your life would be the time spent there, where everyday is a battle against the ferocious monster called GRAVITY. its like God looked upon the ground there and decided to squash it laterally to create a million folds on the ground. then came the ASSS-EEHHH- EFFFF and said since the ground looks so torturous from the sky, lets use this land and make our poor young souls go in there (intentionally discounting the ups and downs that the contours show).

but i must say i feel cheated.

like the way one would feel after going for a tour of a country but still not understand the place well enough. like the money spent wasnt worth the time there. we didnt get to do the fabled mount BIANG. although i frankly wouldnt like to do it while in the military, probably at my own leisure... we never tried river crossing, although everyone else claims that it was more like river drifting...

so sad so sad.

well at least i had josiah there, where i'd see him everyday, around the camp, while i march and he gets the privilege of walking.. i am so NOT implying that any of us are gay, but its much comforting to see someone around of which u are more acquainted with, while in a place so unfamiliar... i'd agree that we left singapore at such a terrible timing, like everything was left behind, but i must say that we speak in totally different contexts. its not the first time for me though...

we're just glad we're back...

"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

the end of our frame just meant the start of another frame.

2009-12-31T13:57:00.001+08:00

if there's one thing that i absolutely love about you,

its that headstrong stubbornness that just amazes me.

-
ignite. ignite now.

2009-12-29T13:11:00.001+08:00

oh, btw, i realised it isnt 30 times, its at least 60 times, cos, there's TIME IN and TIME OUT...

2009-12-28T03:24:00.002+08:00

so this is christmas.

yes this is christmas... its horrible being the armskoteman for nearly 2 months in service term.. yes the unsung heroes who are constantly pressured to do, whatever the outside world thinks they are doing inside the dingy room, as fast as possible, yet screwed over and under by the same people that want the job done fast, to be done with perfection... this is the life of the sucker in the armoury.

anyways, as i was saying, i had the privilege as the armskote ic for platoon1, to write the date, at least 30 times a day, on 4 log books. it was like a countdown each day i flipped to a new page, stared down at my watched and copied the date onto that tiny little rectangle, and proceed to the cell beneath that, and on and on... i only probably realised the feeling just after scorpion king.. it was well into november and creeping onto december.. november held many ups and downs but each time i stepped into the armskote, that reminder kept poking me in the eye...

its not like one of those times when someone reminds u of an upcoming event, say, 1 weeks time and you go like WHOA! ITS DECEMBER ALREADY? nooooooo. this is different, this one forces u to accept the truth, in the form of repeatedly writing the date such that it sinks into your numbskull that you have barely a month before the new year starts... and each day onwards, u flip back to the previous page in pure denial, unwilling to resign to the law of space, time continuum. but yet again, u retreat in defeat and begin the arduous marching of the ball pen down the cells...

so this is christmas, and what have you done?

well its just like anyother day isnt it? people still die, babies are born... so much for the christmas mood, i barely had enough time to acclimatise myself to the on goings outside of camp, and christmas hits me like a broomstick in the face.. its not dreadful, its just that this time, i really cannot understand why this has to be any different from any other occasion..

its a new year coming up and once again, away with resolutions...
instead i'd like to think of it as, ONE YEAR TO ORD... at least now its safe to say, i've reached R already...
of course thats if i dont end up with the scholarship, but then again, that'll bring new worries like the bloody tuition fees...

2009-12-14T17:35:00.000+08:00

and so once in a while, we get a treat... a long weekend, something that seemed to be almost non existent. it almost feels as if its the end of service term.. but then again, 2 weeks to go, 10k ET run tmr, 24k route march next week, platoon live firing and all still awaits...

being the PC wasnt easy, yet it wasnt that hard... although being in defence seemed to be less important, judging by the amount of supervision the attack phase had (from AOPs to OPOs to execution) it made defence look like it was just any another ordinary phase.. well there were hardworkers mediocres, and the ultimate skivers throughout the digging phase, i'd hate to point out that anyone wasnt doing their job, cos it'd do no justice to the others and the teamwork they offered to finish it up altogether as platoon 1.

we book in tonight at 7... but even with an additional day off in lieu of comms parade, it still doesnt seem enough... not nearly enough for me to make my peace...

-
a popping reminder, a sad remainder.
a tinge of regret, a hope for better.

2009-11-29T16:27:00.003+08:00

why does this feel so familiar?

i had it before i went to australia, i had it before i entered ocs... now i'm having it before my weekend ends... if only there were a remote control to my endocrine system, then i could have a feast of feel good hormones (fucking shit, i cant believe i forgot how to spell hormones, after studying 4years of biology, i forgot...) then again, thats what drugs are for...

we're told not to compare our situations and circumstances, but the bomb dropped the moment they called me up for ExPC for the defence...

-
i neeeeeeed a break...

-
on the other hand, should u have nothing better to do, i suggest opening up an IKEA catalogue and translating all the names to english starting with vanlig...

happy getting lost in translation.

2009-11-28T16:54:00.002+08:00

10 days and 10 missions later.

i'm back, 2 weeks after Section Field Camp, i still feel drained. not because Tango Wing is exceptionally 'garang' or 'hiong'. but because i haven't had time to switch back to the admin mode, the 5 day training week (although mostly ending up as 6). plus i havent had time to properly enjoy the weekends. so what if i forgot to bring my waterbottle for 5BX one morning at sanyongkong? so what if i fell asleep in the CAI room a day after we got back to begin learning about the GPMG? i tell u what, u end up being the CDS for Sunday the same week...

well it wasnt so bad having ur buddy as the CDO for the whole day as well...

Section 4 was a section really worth spending 10 days with... it wasn't that we were particularly good at everything, just that we had people that were willing to put in effort for most of our jobs.. being part of the best section became a bonus... and i suppose we did fight hard enough to impress the IDP instructors. but then again, everything must come to an end, and it did, almost immediately after we arrived back at wing line...

sweet bunk
-

i must say staring into nothing is an immensely overwhelming situation, while the anticipation of an ambush is particularly exciting, it becomes boring once the heightened senses begin to be weary... then the mind starts to imagine things for you to be occupied..

there i was deployed to look down the knoll in almost the same arc of fire as alvin, but waiting for the patrol to come within the killing ground was too long for us, and sooner or later (rather within 15 mins) i had dozed off... not for long though, probably for less than 5 mins. then i looked up again to scan my frontage once more... and surprisingly enough i found something that looked interesting. i could have sworn i saw some one in long4, camo-ed and sitting at the bottom of a tree, arms resting on his field pack and drinking from his water tube. i could even make out his spectacles... and he was looking in my general direction...

i couldnt be anyone from the patrol force cos they wouldnt be that dumb to "rest" so near ORANGE objective, so i just kept on scanning like i should... which made me fall asleep again, then i was aroused once more and this time i looked through my scope to look at the "drinking man"... it was almost the same image that i saw with my naked eyes, but this time with slight actions of the tube moving as he continued to drink the water...

this carried on for 2 hours until section 3 finally arrived and the fire fight began... but through all the waiting that day, i was convinced at the end of the day that it was all just leaves, branches and twigs that some how was arranged coincidently to look like what i imagined... at least thats what i hope..

-

the way to gauge the freshness of the mac donalds meal u ordered, is to order a mc flurry along with everything else.

2009-11-07T14:56:00.003+08:00

Hello Tango 11 this is Tango 11 delta, sitrep over.
...
tango 11 delta, delta mike low.

there are moments when i really dont feel like booking out, its as though life get worse out there. not all of it is this way of course but the times that u spend in camp, u feel protected, paid, fed, albeit getting fucked over and over again, even though u try ur best. the horrible feeling u get that maybe best is just not enough to cover up the worst of others in the bigger picture...

perhaps it doesnt work this way with me. not with retail therapy, cos with each book out, i just keep spending more... wasting more and spending even more...

its when Morale gets too low, that i fear the change, that fatigue will metamorphose whatever enthusiasm i have left, into what i used to hate about others..

10 days in Sanyongkong... so near to what i used to call home.
i suppose when it all starts on monday, we wont be dreading to enter the gates of safti anymore...
-

let go, letting go, "let gone"? (wait, there's no past tense for let go? is there?)
-

well whatever, seems like the only time i can feel good about anything this week was when i lied to myself during 2.4 on tuesday... finally i'm back to gold.. which makes me think that if had stayed on and gone to air wing or something, it'd probably take a million years to get back... but then again, maybe with all the rest that there is over at the yellow block, it might be easier...

tango 11 delta out.

2009-10-31T21:42:00.003+08:00

Sierra Tango.

its for days like today.

When u feel like everything is going wrong, nothing seems to fit in place, and plannings and projections are just a whole pile of crap. Its for these occasions that the army coins the most commonly used abbreviation. LL. No, its not excused Lower Limb... its LAN LAN...

LL encapsulates sympathy, encouragement, resignation and most of all an offer, to the one and only consolation you have, Suck Thumb (ST for short).

2009-10-24T13:48:00.003+08:00

and so confinement begins...

well, i suppose its just inevitable, something like this was about to happen anw... but it felt horrible to draw that red line across the names of the 6 guys staying in for the weekend... that depressing sight of the 6 in admin attire while the rest of the 23 were in blackwhite penguin.... that empty feeling in them as we marched off and out of safti...

come to think abt it it could've been helped, but sometimes, resources just arent enough... in particularly, a photocopier.

-
having no idea what is going on in the bunks right now, on a scorching afternoon, when their supposed to be studying for SOQT, which i highly doubt so...

-
guard duty was horrendous... oh could i have regretted it more!

it felt just like the 2nd day of fieldcamp back in tekong... that lousy feeling, having caught the flu bug from god-knows-where, just because of the lack of sleep...

cough, sore throat, aches and fever

monday night i had nothing else but to think... thinking about being sick... LTA hafid was walking up and down the corridors so there was nothing else to do but to lie on the bed and stare blankly into the fan... IPPT was the next day and i was trying to find a convincing reason for me not to fall out and carry on with the training on tuesday..

offers of paracetamol aplenty from platoon mates, LTA eddie said no one was to be on medication 12 hours before ippt, if i were to take anything to help myself cope with the ailments i was having, it would be just before the test..

i couldnt help by try to figure out why the fuck i hadnt taken anything to help myself earlier... i wasnt as though i was short of medication from my stash in the bedside drawer...

then i realised that even though i seemed that the whole world around me gave little less than 2 shits abt the implications of taking paracetamol, (i.e. my mum, royston etc.) somehow i'm avoiding taking medication more and more these days.

one fine example would be that night before leaving for tamworth and most recently was monday night...

then came tuesday morning when i held the 2 tablets in my palm and stared at my buddy in our room for more than 10 mins while it was chaos outside while CPS was trying to drag us out of our rooms to fall in... "fuck it" i said eventually and just hurled it into my mouth...

-
influential. you are just too influential. you always refused my offers to take anything for ur headaches when were in school... why did i rub off so much from you?

2009-10-18T00:57:00.003+08:00

what the hell am i doing here?

booking in a whole day earlier than the rest of my wingmates. i tried to rationalise my decision only after discussing with alvin about standing in for his duty.. i realised i should have done it before i said yes... i hadnt thought about it properly, like what i'd be missing out at home... i only gave a run through about the things i was supposed to do when i booked out.

Go meet the rest of the guys of agc 08/09.
... nothing else. and this was all it took for me to say yes.

yes to signing away a whole day of being away from camp. coming home this morning after being out with the guys, i fell asleep almost instantaneously...

so i came up with a few more reasons to help me get to sleep tonight,

karma points
i wont be late booking in on sun
alvin really didnt want to miss his dinner

anw, the faster i get used to this life, the faster i engage myself in the reality.

maybe next week i wont even want to book out at all.. i suppose there's no point in leaving camp to expect something better.. all of them i want to see, they're all pinned on the board i get to see everyday.

everybody is gone anyways.

2009-10-09T19:28:00.002+08:00

wake me up when september ends.

and so it ends, CLM has gone and finally after 4 months, i finally no longer wear the single white bar...

the end seems pretty distant, and theres so much left of this to go, but lets just take it a breath at a time, be in the now...

-
thankfully, tango had our book out on thurs night, can't remember how much i loved to sleep on my bed, my own lovely bed. coming home last night was just too shiok to describe, knowing that i get to sleep peacefully, take my own sweet time to eat my meals, not worrying whether i have completed my readings for tests and if i have washed my clothes for the next day...

"i got a feeling, that tonight's gonna a be turn-out night,
that tonight there'll be turn-turn-outtttt..."

-
but then again, Tango reminds me so much about Zulu, and how we were constantly rushing our programme, squeezing in everything to meet deadlines...

i dont miss you.

because i'm too busy to care, because i have no time to think about it, because you are barely present in the now...

-
until i have time again, i will continue to stone on the train, stare blankly into the moon looking for something,

and realise that sunday is my SAW live firing...

2009-09-22T02:02:00.001+08:00

one hour ago, mummy told me it was 1 o'clock already...

she said ocs tmr must go to bed early, OH I MISS HOME ALREADY.

2009-09-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

Courage

the ability to wake up everyday...

2009-09-21T17:50:00.002+08:00

there it goes again.

"no i wasnt looking for the book, the book found me..."

its just that same feeling all over again... the anticipation. but i would count it as a stroke of luck, something like, destiny.

it was a series of more fortunate events, like getting out of bed, deciding the exact time to get out edmund's bedroom, and opening the door to see his dad right in front of me to offer me lunch, and then telling me about cooking and the love of it...

it isn't about sin, it isn't about doing right or wrong... its life...
because if we were meant to follow a path, a journey, why even alter it?

-
being in the NOW, it was exactly what i needed, some enlightenment, not encouragement... encouragement lost its effect on me a long time ago, just like cafeine wears out after the first few doses...

"Its not the work that kills, but the worry..."

you see, i've heard that a million times already, well i tried to work on that but it never did... but then the explanation kinda made sense, the worry drains ur thought processes, depletes your mental energy... sooner or later you feel tired, depressed and more or less, dead...

if only we gave up thinking about the future, worrying about the next obstacle we're going to face, the next big project thats coming up. if only we could leave all that uneccessary anxiety about whats going to happen if we screw up, for when it actually happens, then we can concentrate more about doing a better job, and who knows, we might even NOT SCREW IT UP.. even finish it faster...

the nirvana of being in the now...
meditative...

-
but i must agree, Osho makes it sound more and more like a cult...

well, its radical, unorthodox, perhaps that's precisely why it sounds that way, but if only we'd see it as natural, the norm...

then maybe others will start thinking, WHY NOT?

2009-09-14T22:38:00.003+08:00

daddy still knows his way home...

Note to self:

a perfect reason why everyone should at least know how to cook for themselves.
INDEPENDENCE.
daddy will NOT end up like that, because he has 4 sons... lets hope he is able to recognise us...
even my cantonese is better... YUAN HONG, time to brush up..

yes, even after watching it all, doing is a load better than merely saying... take care, of yourself and THEM as well...

2009-09-08T23:36:00.002+08:00

this is change

a change in the way i have to see things now, it boils down to perception....

one can say i'm lagging by 6 months, like i retained in sec sch or something to that extent.. another might say that the way has been cleared, there's hardly any uncertainty since i know what there is to expect in the next 9 months...

Labour.

it doesnt help that the HRSSC office is so near the parade square, and that we're also part of the comms parade, but that is the end i see, or rather, we hope to see...

the light at the end of the tunnel or the tunnel at the end of the light.

but hey here's the immediate reality, I HAVE TO LOOK FOR MY STUFF NOW. lbv, helmet, camo, mirror, earplugs, kiwi, admin attire, SOG, garters all...

then the not so imminent reality, infantry awaits...

alpha, golf, sierra, tango

2009-09-04T00:06:00.001+08:00

Some march to remember,
Some march to forget.

2009-08-28T00:28:00.004+08:00

lets just say,

lets just say in tamworth,

i never got to see a police car until my 5th week into the course
i saw how taxis replace the need for ambulances
and how taxis really looked more like ambulances
and seeing an ambulance only occured ONCE through my whole stay
people really arent "paiseh" about things
but yet people are extremely polite and kind over there.
until u over step their border that is.
we can actually keep running and running over there, cos of the wonderful weather and the low humidity,
but get chapped lips everyday until you realise its time to get some lip balm.
things are so expensive over there that the lip balm i happened to buy, cost me 5 bucks,
and so are other things like a cup of instant noodles that goes for 2 bucks each..
however the snacks and junk food get away with it, like starburst (omg u can never get enough of it) that's 1.16 per 100 grams.
worst of all housebrand chips and soda go for at max 1.50 and i'm talking about JUMBO SIZES..
a small town like tamworth is considered, small.
but actually is almost the size of singapore, but only having a population of 38 000+.
the best chances u have at asian food is from 3 places of which 2 are thai restaurants.
the other is "noodle paradise" that sells zi cha that looks VERY dubious, like Far East Plaza's dingy stalls at the upper floors, THAT food for a restaurant.
and at sydney airport, outside of the airport, you dont get trolleys for ur luggage, u have to pay for it.
the roads there go on and on and on that you can maximise the speed of your car to the max..
and that means actually timing how fast your car takes to hit 100 kph.
going so fast only means that there's high chances of road kills.
including animals like kangaroos, ostriches, sheep and others that refuse to look left, right and left again before crossing.
and people have driven off killing them
plus damaging their cars pretty badly
thats why u can get a KANGAROO BAR for your car, which is actually a upsized version crash bars infront of ATVs and 4WDs.
THAT guarantees the safety of your vehicle,
but of course "for one to live, one must die, for one to die, one must not suffer, Instant Death."

i'll think of more next time...

2009-08-25T21:16:00.001+08:00

SAFOS

Serve
And
Fuck-
Off
Sia

2009-08-23T22:51:00.002+08:00

winter leaves behind a wave, a heat wave...

spring brings birds, birds we havent seen the whole time here during our stay, (only the terribly stinky relatives of the parrots)...

its heating up, off with the thermals and jackets, positive temperature hits even before ops brief...

-
its time like this i'd trade presenting a million ops briefs, to carry on in phase 2... for T-VASIS, YPMQ, CAVOK, AFOG and everything else, ANYTHING...

-
you're fired.

i'm going home, back to the place where i belong... but these places and faces are getting old...

2009-08-19T20:16:00.002+08:00

the common room feels more alive now that tek, song gee and i are playing war3 every single night... kinda reminds me of sec3... DFML...

but now its MLFSD....

-
i'm coming home next monday.

2009-08-19T20:08:00.002+08:00

NF.

its as simple as that...

well i'm the negative statistic now.

-
there's the unorthodox feeling thats telling me to stay as long here, not because of some lousy hope that i might be able to continue... but a sick sense of invulnerability keeping me from going back home so that i dont need to answer to people, that i wont need to explain how it happened, or wonder about the next route that's in store for me...

-
circuits circuits.

2009-08-09T13:42:00.002+08:00

This week felt different, i havent felt so stressed out mentally and physically in such a long time...

3 sorties this week. well at the start i was worried abt getting H as my instructor. hearing the scores of ppl he's failed at tests... then it didnt turn out too bad... but still he broke it with " i'm not going to beat around the bush, i guarantee you with your flying at present, there is no way you're going to make it past test1." it was what-the-fuck worthy... ok but seriously, we (or at least i know myself) find it tiring, it just saps everything out from you the moment you finish the interior check and ask for permission to strap in.. up til the moment the instructor unlatches the canopy and the cool air rushes back into the tiny cockpit...

then the second sortie with H was not enough either... shaun had the "previlege" of switching to H from J... but he claims that he was wronged, he shouldnt havefailed with H, because J would have passed his 2 sorties if he flew with J... he's on to his sup check on mon with C.

since H wanted so much to do GH 6 with shaun before he left for his holiday, i was transfered to B... it wasnt that good flying with him either since the other students he has include SH (the wonderful best trainee).

-
but that aside... flying is... (hate to say it but) like going to sch... only cos we live for the weekends just like i used to back in vj... or cat high... or anywhere else... the weekends shone hope. put up for 5 days and we'd be able to have 2 day of heaven...

this just feels like home.

-
yesterday we spent our whole morning at harvey norman... and i just whacked spending 800 over dollars on the i touch and a new harddrive. the investment... i'll see how it goes...

HERE GOES,

32GB iTouch going for 600 BRAND NEW... price negotiable...
COME ON I KNOW U ALL WANT IT...

1 TERABYTE ext hdd going for 250 BRAND NEW...

so yeah let me know, let me know if u want anything like cameras or shit...
-

Its been going great everything other than flying...

common room antics are too many to list... we'll never forget Song Gee overflowing his hot bath tub flooding his entire room and abit of the corridor all because he was next door playing GTA... brant and yong quan breaking into shaun's room while he was showering...

but soon we're going home and this'll all be lost, passing as another phase in life.

-
anw,
happy national day...
from your friend in australia...

2009-08-02T00:29:00.001+08:00

lets look forward to the bar next week or the mess at least...

2009-08-02T00:24:00.001+08:00

25" 2600rpm

just two weeks ago, pitot heat off, transponder check 1200 set ALT, ADF timer start, AI erect, HSI within 2 deg of rnwy hdg, toes clear and we rolled...

GH2 kinda made it seem that we were going to climb out of the 5DME with full power. i admit i havent got much of the hang of the engine controls, and its causing attitude problems, wings level and nose as well...

-
its just not the same when we sit around reciting all the checks and figuring the actual procedures.

-
well we've settled in, with most of the rountines in, waking at 6 for "school" just felt all too familiar... i dont know about the rest but i havent started missing home yet... its supposed to be normal i guess... just not yet... the learning curve is steep, steep enough for me to start wondering about things... things that like considering options...

sometimes i envy people like SH, determined and unwavering... i used to think i was like that... but i suppose it isnt showing... right now i'm hoping that with the change in my QFI, from the opposing solo to the tpt expert, we'll take things the way i'd always figured to be...

applying the theory is as important as taking off and landing... so for sortie 3, there's going to be changes, i still have sunday to figure out completely what exactly to do, but change is necessary... looking at the way sortie 2 went, i am lagging, seriously, and i suppose it didnt really need for my QFI to tell me that moving over to the next sortie is like time... there just isn't enough come back to it again when we've moved on...

-
during one of the ops brief in the morning, we came across a flying order, for QFIs about guarding the controls of students... and then my mind went straight to the framed quote on the wall in the RSAF office. "The Instructor"... that plus the differing approaches of other instructors made me think about other stuff that had just the same resemblance.

-
book out today still didnt feel as exciting as the stories from the previous batches, still it was better than the last book out. i came across inners at 9.95.. DIRT CHEAP... got enough chocolate to relax the rest of the month away but also enough to burn a hole through my throat... now i'm on the look out for stamps and the typical hat the aussies have to top off the laid back look... we;ve gotten ourselves orientated about town already and i am waiting for it to get more boring to aid the learning process.

-
power down to 15" maintain attitude, anticipate 95kts power back to 17" 2600rpm Slow Cruise, attitude, change check hold trim...
this weekend is for reflection, reflection over the terrible second sortie and the road ahead... which explains my soaking hot baths for the last 2 days... of which i happen to be sitting in one right now... something i never really did back home...

-

plain old jane telling a story about a man who was too afraid to fly, so he never did land...

2009-07-24T20:39:00.001+08:00

BALLS TO THE WALL

2009-07-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

Dear....

the fever's down... but now i'm coughing like mad... tamworth... its in new south wales, a small country town would love to come here on holiday actually... cold cold... its winter yes. but a warmer one since the instructors say that the trees have more leaves on them than usual.

anw its no longer SAF thats catering the food, its an australian private company called scolarest... but nevertheless, these people dont spare anyone when it comes to giving enough food to feed giant ang mohs... we singaporeans have nothing to compare...

took abit of photos at sydney already, nothing here so far, but tmr we're going out to the town so, yea will bring my camera... lazy to upload tho, so maybe it'll take some time.

jingcheng

2009-07-16T03:50:00.002+08:00

for the last few days at least i'm trying to steal as much as i can of all you people here. for dinner, talks what ever.

and since i've been feeling like shit. why? i dont know why. but just shit.

feverish with no temperature, tired, sore throat, constantly thirsty. drained. i feel like i'm falling sick which is quite impossible since i just took a flu jab when i arrived in afs. but then again, maybe it is the jab...

or maybe arrival at AFS was enough to make me think and think and think so much that worry is fucking my hormones up. maybe not knowing is a better option.

what ever the case, i need the endorphines to run through me again... and nothing but a good laugh, and late night soccer. ha.

-
"i keep telling cadets over and over again that the most important day is the day you depart and arrive... you'll see why."

2009-07-16T02:51:00.002+08:00

another goodbye.

tomorrow's thursday. the second last day at AFS. I'd say its no joke to be suddenly thrown back into regimentation ever since the days at AFRC. In fact the only officers i remember greeting was maj chris, cpt des, cpt stanley, cpt ben and encik yeo... with the exception of some of the interviewers. Now, its salute and greet warrants and officers, plus the no-go with the interior staircases, head dress and walking in step on the ground floor. no civvie book outs.

unlike where we'd be able to play sports every mon wed and fri, we'd be tied to our timetable that is rarely followed anyways while stuck in 03-35.

a goodbye for a good 6 weeks. i hope?

lets just say that last week has been a mess, i think i kinda tried to dig up the last three months to make some sense of it. i failed...

in vj, we'd sometimes think of the days that made the time spent there worthwhile. the early mornings to rush to school, to the essays and their late nights. the shagged runnings to ecp with the team. classmates, team mates, school mates.

well other than the fact that i'd learnt about the force, the false hopes of a scholarship, the people in afrc, the shredding of paper, staying back for being late and maybe the visits to tekong. i finally got a moving onto something active. AGC.

we actually reckon it to be more like a 6 week confinement. ok maybe not that bad, but still without the old friends and family, to me is a confinement. ahhh, why do i always say 6 weeks as though i'm really going to pass. yes 6 weeks if we actually make it through the whole way, but 3 weeks to fail...

-
Tamworth, AFS, 16 POB ramp out 19 july for AGC 08/09.

2009-07-03T22:59:00.003+08:00

goodbye afrc.

today came the bittersweet day... 2 weeks without justin ru qin and edwin. 2 weeks with another bunch of jokers, the 124th batch.. such pity the office was so empty, but seeing the vacant office i decided to join the rest of the FEPs at bt timah plaza for LAN...

fancy getting to LAN while serving ns... you read me right LAN, not LAW, or any other stupid abbrviation...

the last time i sought respite in any lan shop was in sec 4 probably one of the times we kept saying it was the last time we'd play before the Os or prelims... but today was wonderful as ben chia, shaun, 2lt brant and i play left 4 dead...

lets just take 2lt brant's word... WE'LL PLAY MORE WHILE AT AFS... HAHAHA...

-
on another word, i've mastered the instruments check in under 3 secs...
Needle left ball right,
AI erect, HSI decreasing,
Standby compass following,
Nav Aids tracking.

-
i'm sorry yh if u had to read the first part... hell week hoo yah.

2009-07-02T19:20:00.002+08:00

and one of the other pilot trainees said

WAH 6 weeks also cannot teach my mother how to use the internet,
6 weeks want us to know how to fly a plane.

2009-06-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

daddy reminded me of a story he told us a long while ago...

To Lead, To Excel, To overcome?
Think again...

杀人放火

Go Figure...

2009-06-22T22:46:00.002+08:00

There was once a person who told me that once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

-
Friday was one of the best times in the office as the life of an FEP died for most of us. Ruqin and Justin to Air Wing, edwin to sispec, yau chung and i stayed on though... I wasnt supposed to go since i had the day off, but i knew that i couldnt just let them just leave like that, so headed down to the office for a half day instead.

It was farewell for a bunch of guys that werent exactly the most ideal of friends initially, but i had come to know them over the last 3 months and perhaps just as i'd left behind memories from BMT, we'd soon leave these behind in AFRC.

-
Positivity Vs Negativity

2009-06-21T23:00:00.002+08:00

someone once told me that the chances of meeting a person is one in million, so the chances of falling in love must be smaller...

statistics.

-
well a few days back i came across something. a number, 3.8... standing alone it meant nothing, but with as a percentage it meant alot...

it means, JING CHENG, the odds are against you.

2009-06-19T00:08:00.000+08:00

fighting all the demons will take time.

2009-06-17T19:07:00.003+08:00

we are the pilgrims master, we will go always further.

-
in april, i thought of going for may,
in may, i thought of leaving in june,
in june, i am finally leaving for july.

each time a purpose convinced me to see the better,

the thing is,

i think i lost it.

just like my phone...

2009-06-10T00:07:00.002+08:00

what good is the moon if it is not to be shared?

28 days ago.
i found a way to give it away... a plan. never did it in the end... then i thought, perhaps a month later...

it sits still, waiting...

2009-06-08T23:26:00.005+08:00

Never Ever.

i never believed it would turn out that big... 10 台 ! haha... 2台 for 半色, 2台 for 碰碰胡, 3台 for 红中, 白板and a 杠-ed 青发, 2台 for 花, 1台 for 花上...

seriously, and all this 2 rounds after i just 胡-ed a 5台 round...

PLUS BOTH WERE 自摸...

but still everything was capped at 5... imagine how much edmund, yuan hong and zhengwhye would have to pay if the cap wasnt there...

-
perhaps pity for losing my phone, i might be able to save up this way to buy a new one... but i doubt i'll EVER win like this again...

-
how can one not see it coming? how can one not think he had it all?
slipping through the grasp of your palm, as its last remaining silvers wisp into thin air...

Oh once i had it all... "now i sweep the streets i used to roam..."

and i hear a call out from behind, "jing cheng, grow some balls!"

2009-05-31T22:32:00.006+08:00

distance.

i'm a guy, but i'm not doing guy things... i suppose, it is statutory that guys at this stage are supposed to be confined to the restraints of an army camp. with minimal liberties and barely any free time. but what is this that i am doing? why am i in the know of so many things going on in vj, at home, among my friends?! why do i have so much time to do all this?

well Sherlyn did tell us before this will be the best time we will ever have in NS, or rather, this is as good as it gets... but honestly, this is not what i had imagined myself to spend my NS liabilities.

yea probably i get to learn driving, everyday is book out day, i get to meet alot of people i used to know, i get to watch movies and serials whenever i'm not needed by the spec section, i get to crash at the spider corner, and most of all, i get my bed EVERY NIGHT...

but then, freedom has a price.

everyday is book in day, i dont get to speak very long to the people i meet, i'm missing out on the usual army stuff that everyone is doing now, yi kor is POPing on tues as a full vocationalist at 39 SCE, kor kor is still out during the weekdays, i want to go for field camps, i want to do AGRs, i want to fire universal rounds... wait maybe i dont want it THAT much, but still i want a part of it... cos its sad, the only stuff i get to say about army other than my bmt times are only the stories of other people and not my own... pathetic.

well perhaps it only seems that the grass merely SEEMS greener on the other side...

and i suppose i'll get in the swing of things at least once i get to start off to AGC..

WHICH REMINDS ME, maybe i'm not leaving for the june AGC either, maybe july... oh bother, another whole month to wait...

-
if only i could spend all this free time now on something/one more worth spending on...

2009-05-30T18:16:00.000+08:00

at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you...

2009-05-29T10:55:00.003+08:00

society at its worst.

understand the simple fact that there between two groups, lie that line. not a thin one, but a long broad one, a clear definition between what is and what is not...

someone may just so happen to be on a side that's different. but how is it so that a balance is still achieved?

simple.
you stay on your side, i'll stick with mine...

simple, but not the best...

2009-05-29T01:12:00.002+08:00

look at me,

yes stare at THIS.

not this, THAT!
go on, stare at it...

IT wants you to keep looking,

CONCENTRATE! oh forget it, you can't concentrate anyway...

2009-05-28T23:32:00.001+08:00

仗义每多屠狗辈，

从来侠女出风尘。

2009-05-28T23:04:00.001+08:00

implode or explode?

2009-05-28T22:49:00.001+08:00

damned if you do, damned if you don't

got a secret.
can you keep it?
swear, this one you'll save.
better lock it in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
if i show you,
then i know you wont tell what i said.
because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

-the pierces

2009-05-27T02:18:00.001+08:00

i need something desperately to vent everything out, like bashing something, screaming, destroying anything.

wished i had BCCT without CPT.

2009-05-27T01:50:00.003+08:00

there is not one day that goes by without searching for a reason...

sign that damn thing already please.
doubt-clouds.

-
perhaps one day we'll find ourselves,
perhaps one day, at the end.

2009-05-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

twice in a week says something. but it doesn't mean i tend to lose my things easily... this week is a biased sample...

why is it for the 7 years i've used a phone, i have never lost a single one before? yet the very first time i lose it, i lose it again, in the same week...

while refusing to eat my dinner, semi-sulking, semi-pouring over the ADFA handbook, i can only find a conclusion that reads, JINXED... or maybe, HOPELESS.

-
19 really isnt a big deal.

2009-05-25T02:04:00.002+08:00

i missed the 1327 moment this year.
making the same 2 wishes over 3 times.
still havent experienced forgetting it all for the whole day.
19 isnt very special.
having thoughts of being an old fogey when i finally get into uni.
i desperately want to talk to ken koh.

eh, happy 26th birthday kor...

2009-05-25T01:56:00.004+08:00

BLOODY $19.20

last night we had a usual mahjong meetup... somewhere in the midst of a round...

at present it feels just like that hand i had, just another jumble, the tiles weren't moving, nothing seemed to link, i wasn't getting any closer to anything...

and edmund wished he wouldn't have to bao man tai...

-
no game plan.

2009-05-23T13:47:00.002+08:00

SAY also don't LISTEN
LISTEN also don't DO
DO also do WRONG
WRONG also don't ADMIT
ADMIT also don't CORRECT
CORRECT also make MISTAKE
MISTAKE also don't LEARN

HOPELESS....

2009-05-19T23:17:00.003+08:00

this feeling inside...

amidst all the stupid laughter that edwin was pulling out from me during the bus ride home, i didnt check where my phone was... after i got off 88, i headed straight to the barber and never did check...

so where the hell did it go? between the barber and toapayoh interchange, its SOMEWHERE...

-
this feeling inside i get reading something from so long ago... tries very hard to make my day.

but still, it wont magick my phone to appear.

2009-05-19T00:11:00.003+08:00

"when prince charming found cinderella's slippers, they didn't accuse him of having a foot fetish..."

-
and
the bravery sang time won't let me go.

2009-05-18T23:35:00.004+08:00

would you?

-
are you 21? do you earn at least $800 a month? yes yes? i'd probably need to borrow your hand, your ic and a recent payslip then...

-
things could go a thousand different ways from here on out..

2009-05-16T03:13:00.003+08:00

i'm wondering if the caramel that's supposed to be in the caramel apple cheesecake is supposed to caramelise from the brown sugar that was poured into the cheese batter...

some how it doesnt feel like its gonna be any better than the first cheesecake i did...

errr, the apple pie filling i did doesnt even smell that appetising...

2009-05-14T22:06:00.002+08:00

i knew it was a sign of things to come, luckily there was a plan in place...

what a short week, off on monday, tues was the CRS test, wed full day of boring work, and half day for thurs, with mc for the rest of the week...

somehow, the flu is taken much more seriously now that the swine flu is up and about...

i knew it was a sign of things to come, the tiredness on the bus yesterday wasnt exactly normal...

-
PRESENTING, the woderful wonder girls, ala-vjc.

haha, fucking hell ever since cpt ben played the actual video in the office and set his handphone ringtone to this shit...

bloody ear worm.

2009-05-14T22:04:00.001+08:00

SAF's 423rd law states that:

HE
WHO
HUMS
AWAY,
LIVES
TO
HUM
ANOTHER
DAY...

2009-05-13T23:01:00.001+08:00

and i have no idea how that happened so fast.

2009-05-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

today.

was the premiere of angels and demons. edwin had a pair of tickets and gave it to shaun. shaun wasnt sure if he could make it... in a whirl of a sudden, i had a plan, but eventually it slowly faded away, i boarded 851 in regret... fell asleep as soon as i settled into my seat and woke up in yishun, fuck... oversleeping on the bus is starting all over again...

tomorrow.

0645 at SFT, what the fuck.

thank goodness there's taxi...

-

2009-05-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

gatekeeper.
-feist

Well it's time to begin as the summer sets in
It's the scene you set for new lovers
You play your part painting it a new start
But each gate will open another

June July and August said
"It's probably hard to plan ahead."
June July and August said
"It's better to bask in each other."

Gatekeeper seasons wait for your nod
Gatekeeper you held your breath
Make the summer go on and on

Well they tried to stay in from the cold and wind
Making love and making their dinner
Only to find that the love that they grew in the summer
Froze

February April said
"Don't be fooled by that summer again."
February April said
"That half of the year, well we'll never be friends."

Gatekeeper seasons wait for your nod
Gatekeeper you held your breath
Made the winter go on and on

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper, gatekeeper
Seasons wait for your nod

2009-04-23T00:02:00.006+08:00

i hate zero G...

For a 7 dollar taxi ride, a short lesson on mandarin, and a meal at the scam cafe with scam rice, scam mee and scam cream...

i went to the moon and back, turned horizontal on a wing over, fell 1000 ft in 30s, touched the clouds, hit a 3G turn, and eventually felt woozy the moment we hit back on the ground...

according to instructor raman, 1000ft's like falling 100 storeys and HAHAHA fucking shiok i say... we did nose up stalling, nose down stalling, and level stalling... falling out of the sky's like nothing on earth, its extreme weightlessness, like u'll never need to bother about anything other than, that you're falling...

even fuel experience that shit.

so after tonnes of grainy photos, i'm home with the warning that i can't make the photos public online... well i'll select them when i have the time next time...

-
cheeps and raman... awesome dudes.

2009-04-21T23:49:00.002+08:00

ever found yourself repeating the exact same words as someone else? you probably trust him enough for you to be able to take the same words you heard and repeat them to someone else...

some how cpt dez comes with hate and something else i cannot pin point...

if my "10 years later" happens to realise the link between long hair or short and CIM then i'll know that idiot turned my life...

2009-04-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

remember.

everyone has a "10 years later". i will remember. here. its this point in time i will register, regardless of whether i make it through or not. i'm still unsure.

i took a cab this morning, and speaking to the cab driver as usual, i found out within a min in the cab he was an ex-pilot...

i will remember because i do not want to be misguided in the future because of whatever outcome that i end up having during the course of training... the comfortable life that comes with success will distort... the regret that comes with failure will be sour... this is the fork in the road... i will remind others about..

no matter what everyone will have to pass through this phase.

-
over sensitive.

2009-04-20T03:57:00.001+08:00

realising that you're experiencing the expected inevitable, while fading out into the infinite oblivion...

2009-04-18T17:39:00.001+08:00

i dreamt something last night that i shouldnt have dreamt about... its a summary.

2009-04-18T17:22:00.003+08:00

you once asked me why... maybe now you've found the answer.

i can't help but feel it happening all over again. worry begets one who fears...

this ending sounds all too familiar. but although it isnt the most pleasing of sorts, familiarity brings about the sense of certainty...

perhaps, this chapter is ending...

-
we are the writers to our own books.

2009-04-12T23:43:00.002+08:00

this is how it rolls...

Hi, i'm PTE Ng Jing Cheng, i enlisted into the SAF on 090109 at BMTC1 as a recruit at Z3102... After 9 weeks of BMT, i was posted to the HQ RSAF but i report to the SAFCC at CMPB in the CPC AFRC as a FEP trainee...

rolled.

fucking abbreviations.

2009-04-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

TIME

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”-Genesis 1:1

Everything has a beginning. The particular instance in time which we call a start becomes a datum. Time must have a reference point which we continue to compare with, in order to measure it. Encompassing many fields of disciplines, time is a diverse and complicated concept puzzling many academics and myself.

The physicist’s perception of time has been echoed through the works of Einstien. The most appropriate being the Theory of Relativity, amazing the world with the possibility of controlling time. For years we have been looking for a way to wield the power of time within our grasp, and until Einstien, we have only been able to use time and not control it. Who would have guessed against the saying, “time and tide wait for no man”? During his era, it was ground-breaking for him to have created such a revolution, that time in reference to an object would slow down, as it approached the speed of light. It is ridiculous to say that we are now able to embark on time travel, but the possibilities of science are impossible to fathom.

History, needless to say is built on time. It is precisely that history is the study of the past, which makes time its core. Using dates, months, years, we are, at least to approximate the occurrences of events or milestones that change the way we live today. The dynasties of ancient China, the birth of Christ, or the World Wars, are typical events that shake and shape the cultures and societies that we live with today. Hierarchy was practiced in the courts of the Chinese dynasties. The birth of Christ is particularly influential, amassing one of the major faiths of the world today, and clearly responsible for dating years with B.C. and A.D. within the Gregorian calendar, without which we will not have our common dating procedure.

Carbon dating brings together the 3 major areas of science, biology, chemistry and physics. Studying atoms of carbon, and analyzing the constant radioactive decay of the carbon-14 atoms, anything organic that once lived on Earth can be reflected on a comparative timeline. Even the lifespan of prehistoric creatures are now mathematically calculated with the technique of carbon dating. Who knows what the future might bring with this method? We are nearer towards discovering the precise moment of the occurrence of the Big Bang or the formation of our Earth with the uncovering of older fossils and organic sediments of the oldest organism.

As each second on watches tick away, we will never be able to bring back the same moment, instance or occasion. There will never be another 21st May 1990 that is the same as my birthday, 21st May 1990, or anyone’s birthday for that matter. We are all unique in our own ways and the way we spend our time is spectacularly different in the way another uses theirs. How have you spent your time? I would spend mine well because I believe that “the best use of one’s life is to dedicate it to something that will outlast it”.

Time is all around us. We are all surrounded and involved with it. It is justified to say that every one of us is trapped in time. From our birth to our death, the two references that mark our existence and time on Earth are the parameters which encapsulate our life.

2009-04-05T05:10:00.000+08:00

you know all those things about balance?

everyone has a flaw...

-
only 15 minutes away...

2009-03-31T02:29:00.001+08:00

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long I think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
So let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
And I've got some friends some that I hardly know
We've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

2009-03-31T02:27:00.001+08:00

LESSON OF THE DAY

2009-03-29T15:49:00.002+08:00

the truth is out there, the lies are in your head.

what makes you think you are so sure about it?

-
i still remember the times that my brother and i used to dream of driving a viper... kick ass.

Mary
Barbara
Lindsey
Laura
Alma
Madeline
Patricia
Carol
Daniela
Stefanie
Erin
Pamela
Stacey
Anne
Kate
Vanessa
Denise
Diane
Iris
Nadine
Angelina
Rose
Susan
Megan
Tracy
Rachel
Bernadene
Deborah
Gina
Hillary
Kimberley
Dorothy
Donna
Samantha
Ellen
Gabriela
Shannon
Jessica
Sharon
Tina
Marsha
Natalie
Virginia
Tanya
Grace
Ashley
Eleanor
Cathy
Lynn
Lisa

If his premature demise has, in some way,
enlightened the rest of you as to the
grim finish below the glossy veneer of
criminal life, and inspired you to change
your ways, then his death carries with it
an inherent nobility. And a supreme glory.

We should all be so fortunate.

2009-03-29T15:32:00.003+08:00

Be not that far from me, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me.

Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.

My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and He in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.

O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.

-
There can't be anything different in all decisions.
the pulling of a trigger,
setting off the cataclysmic reaction,
committing the lead head spiraling down the barrel and out of the muzzle.
How can it be any different?

to see the life wiped clean,
off the face of a stranger.
to trust in envy, anger or hate,
and not in the purity of the human race.
how can it be any different?

to deny a person's right to live,
where else is there justice, truth or faith?

-
peace.

2009-03-28T03:29:00.003+08:00

someone once asked me why is it that when guys 19 or older meet up, the only thing they talk about is the army...

its our life, or rather, what makes up most of our miserable life...

-
AMUSING yet sarcastically true

can't agree more...

2009-03-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

insignificant.

army disables the part of me which allows me to express myself...

you see, through that sentence alone i am disgusted at the way that went across.

but who cares, i want to speak free of 2nd thoughts.

-
fuck it. this is the part that i jump for joy... supposing i pass my interview and medical, i will henceforth be know as pilot trainee and no longer a PRIVATE, meaning, i get 2220 instead of the meagre 550 on the 10th of every month... UH HUH... but i guess i'll have to sign the contract first before that can happen...

-
i think there's something inside me thats eating me inside out... perhaps trying too hard doesn't help that much, in fact only worsening things, but then again, it would definitely be great if i could read thoughts...

what are you thinking of?

2009-03-22T01:20:00.002+08:00

thanks to my eldest brother, he's got lady gaga's poker face stuck in my head... and everytime i take a ride in his car, the earworm gets so irritating that i have to hear it blasting from his car plugged with his ipod...

-
perhaps he's still hard up with the fact that they've broken up partly due to army, and now everything he says is always discouraging us from a career with the army. or air force for that matter.

on that note, its abit hard for my family to stomach the fact that i'm a FEP trainee now, honestly, i'm undecided, cos its something that no one in our family has tried for or anyone close that we know, so while they were still assuming i'd want to be an infantry officer, i'm here saying that i'm off to the air force...

and for THREE FAT MONTHS....

before i get close to it at air grading... wtf.
-

2009-03-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

"Good morning, taurus company"
"Yes, good morning, i'm PTE Ng tie liang previously from platoon2 section1 bed10"
"yah, what's up"
"er, i'm supposed to report for guard duty on the 19th, but can i get excused since its my 21st birthday?"
"wait ah.... (eh, CSM,CSM, this private last time our company one, he say he got his birthday, how ah?)"
CSM answers the phone,
"Hello! what can i do for you?"
"yes, er, sergeant major?"
"yah la then who? cannot recognise my voice already ah?"
"er, sergeant major, i'm supposed to have guard duty on 19th, but its my 21st birthday. can get excused or not?"
"eh, hello, last time your platoon sergeant read out the name list you never sound off, now u want excuse, who's fault? my sergeant's fault ah?"
"er..."
"wah, POP already, dont know how to talk? talk la"
"my fault sergeant major"
"yah, so now what u want me to do?"
"ok sergeant major, so now do i get clearence from my platoon sergeant?"
"then what? of course la"
"ok thank you sergeant major"

-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 21st YI KOR

ok even though ur off at tekong, I MADE THAT STUPID CALL FOR YOU... humiliating myself at the expense of YOUR CSM...

even though you're the only retard i know who'll scream back at a 2LT for "STEALING" your rifle, and snatch it back only to be "rewarded" with guard duty, and still love it, i'll wait for you to come home for our bubble tea outing...

screw you asshole.

2009-03-19T22:40:00.004+08:00

THE GIANT YANKEE BURGER CHALLENGE

yesterday i had a chance to relive what i used to have. what i had lost a long time ago... or rather, left behind as i graduated from secondary school. somehow or rather as i moved into JC, the reality kinda hit me such that i lost the guts and audacity to push my limits. perhaps the unfamiliarity of a new environment in a new school with new people just made me hold that back, but this time it was great to do something i would have only done in secondary school.

i guess those knowing me back since the days while i was in 1-2 or 2-2 would know it best.

ok i was SUPPOSED to do the challenge with my eldest brother, cos he's been very ON about it for quite some time now... but yeah i decided that since we'd be meeting Ms Hua and the rest of the ventures, i might as well do it there at nyny at amk hub... so nvm, next time i head there, i'd probably watch my brother go through my same agony... haha... good luck kor kor...

feels great to see the receipt, i'll post it once i scan it in... a great way to spend ur bock leave... although i'll never look at a burger the same way anymore... mustard, cheese, onions, tomatoes and BEEF dont're really taste well together anymore... HA

*edit*
THERE IT IS